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Monday, September 8, 2008

Dear America

Dear America,

You disgust me. You make me want to vomit, you make me want to slap you across the face.

America, you've been presented with an incredible opportunity to turn things around, and you're being an asshole about it. You complain, you whine, you bitch about how the gas prices suck. About how you wish your older brother could come home from his second tour of Iraq. How you can't pay for college. Yet you continue to support the idiocy of morons more popularly known as the RNC.

America, are you as masochistic as you make yourself appear? 
You say you love this country, you love the freedoms you have. Yet you seem to get some sick pleasure from watching civil rights swivel down the drain. America, you say you hate terrorists. But you forget that terrorists are humans too, and you subject them to inhumane torture. When did America start taking an eye for eye? What happened? When did voting for someone who would continue this same sadistic cycle that you protest so loudly against, when did this become a good idea?

Let's talk about sex, baby... 
Chances are if you're over the age of 18, you love sex. And you also know that unprotected sex can lead to not only nasty infections but also infections of the uterus...of human beings. Whether you're pro-choice or whatever, it doesn't matter. As it stands right now, our government is trying to put birth control in the same category as abortion. Oh, I'm sorry, America. I think there's something called a difference between a pill and a medical procedure. You love sex, America, as uptight as you can be. Allowing someone who'll take a shit on something you love is something you've never stood for. Why would you let someone take away something you enjoy?

How about those gas prices, America? Are you enjoying the hit your wallet's taking every time you stop at a Conoco? A BP? A Kum n Go? The next time I hear one of my friends close to tears at the pump, I'm gonna slap you. You pretend like you care, with your reusable grocery bags, with your increased interest in public transit and bicycles. Yet you continue to drive everywhere. In fact, I bet you just put a McCain-Palin bumper sticker on your Range Rover. You're a moron.

Don't you know that the reason why gas prices are so high are because of government taxes? And why do we need those government taxes? Oh, that's right. Our national debt now stands at nearly $9.7 trillion dollars. Are you retarded, America? Do you realize that that means every man, woman and child who lives in this country basically owes $31,755.22 to our government. I would kill to have 31 k in my bank account.

Let's talk about food prices. Let's talk about how yesterday at Stop N Shop, generic, plain frozen blueberries (my favorite food of all time) now cost the same as the fancy, wild frozen blueberries grown off the coast of Maine. Not to mention that they
both cost $3.99. A summer ago, I was eating a bag of generic brand blueberries every 3 days at a whopping $2 a bag. You know why food costs so much? Because gas costs so much.

America, we need to stage an intervention. You're acting out. You're destroying yourself. You need therapy, you need change.

You hear that? We need change.

When I read articles like
this, articles telling me that McCain and Obama are neck and neck, I wanna cry. What the fuck is going on in your brain, America? Have you forgotten about the country you used to be?

You piss and moan about the state of things right now, not realizing that a Republican vote is not only just going to keep things the same, but even worse. You whine about your life, but you're gonna vote for McCain because you think a woman shouldn't have a choice with her body. Because you think it's the only way we're gonna keep the terrorists out. Because you think Obama has a funny name, and you don't want "no foreigners in our White House". Because a trifling hoe from Alaska in the white house is a huge, great achievement- over an educated black man who worked his way to mutual respect from the citizens of this country.

You're full of shit, America. You're not who you used to be.

I want you to change because I believe in you, America. I want you to work your democratic muscles and put a Democrat in the office. I want to be proud to be an American.
Register to vote. Educate yourself on the issues. Inform yourself of what you're getting into if you elect McCain and Palin. America, you need to change, but you have to want to change. Do your research and you'll be craving Obama in January '09 like I crave my now four-dollar bags of blueberries.

Don't let me down, America.

Love,


Ari